I am turning into something I really don’t like:
04/17/2008
The Angry Public Servant!
I am so frustrated with my work situation. I find myself crying on the way home most nights. It’s past time for a change. I can’t seem to get transferred. In supervisor’s eyes, I apparently only do average work. Oh, I “turn my leave sheet is in a timely manner”, gee isn’t that nice. I got insulted by someone that works in the building, right in front of one of the Sgt.’s he didn’t cover my back, and he just let it happen.
Outside of work, things are great: I have the West Series races on Saturday. I had a great time at TMS the other week. I have lots of activities I am doing. My schedule is full of fun things. My dog loves me, my yard looks great. I am having a lot of fun.
Well, I wrote the above Tuesday and left it to settle before I posted it. I walked into work Wednesday and that sergeant asked me why I had an attitude on Monday and Tuesday. I went off: I vented! I expressed my anger and frustration. I don’t think he was expecting that, but if he didn’t want to know, he shouldn’t have asked.
I told him I had a right to be angry, I was told I was average. I could stand on my head and I will be average. My feelings were hurt. Someone has an agenda, I can’t fix it, I can’t control it and I sure can’t change it. I also told him I was pissed off I was insulted by the guy’s comments and I couldn’t respond: they were inappropriate. He offered to speak to that person’s boss and I told him not too. It would just cause me even more problems. I am done with problems, I just want to do my little job, get my paycheck and go home. I don’t want spend my time documenting everything that happens at work; I don’t want to waste my free time dealing with work issues. I don’t want work interfering with my social life.
I told him I was sure pissed off & I don’t like being pissed off. There is nothing I can figure out that I can do to change things. I can’t figure out that other persons’ agenda. I don’t want to go home at night and cry. I have too much good going on in my life to keep dealing with the extraneous crap at work. I told him that has come in the last five months in that office stunk. I have a right to be angry; I have the right to have a couple of bad days once in a while.
I smiled and laughed most of the day. I joked with other co-workers. I had a fashion emergency and got help fixing it. I am not going to turn into that bitter public servant. That’s not what I am, that’s not what I want to be. The work situation, it’s in God’s hands, it’s beyond what I can handle.
Saba and I took a nice stroll down Congress Avenue last night: we had desert before dinner. We strolled the avenue and stopped and had dinner, listened to a band and headed home at dark. It sure was a nice evening.
