20th reunion is on my mind.
05/06/2003
Ok so its not until July 19th but I am obsessing already. I have contacted a few people I hope will attend and am dreading seeing others. It seems time has stood still in my mind.
It has been 20 years and some names on the list just piss me off. They relate to events that occurred 20 or more years ago. I wonder if some of the same feelings come up with them? I know in my reality lots of things have changed. I know I am a totally different person than I was in High School. I do have some of the same traits but I didn’t get stuck in the small town hell I grew up in. I have moved on. I have a great life, great friends and a groovy house. I wonder how things will compare? Do I need to even compare? How do I forgive devastating acts of others before I see them again. I need to do some reflecting on this.
I generally don’t hold grudges, I like to just move on. Be it with the person that pissed me off or without depending on the circumstances. We are talking about events that were “big” then and wouldn’t even pass through my thought more than a second now. There are a few folks I am eagerly awaiting to see, others I don’t remember and some that just bring a sinking feeling in my heart. I know the event will only last about 4 hours, I can smile and nod through anything. I wonder if there impressions of me are still stuck in the past? I did hear from a girl I used to know that was pregnant when she graduated. She went to the 10 year reunion and felt that people often thought she has been pregnant for the past 10 years. Time just stopped in the thought process. Her son should be in college by now. I imagine from the tid bits of gossip I hear when I go home, some of the woman are on there 3rd and 4th husbands. Is that a badge of success? I don’t think so. I haven’t event tried that once yet 3 or 4 times. What were they thinking? I guess in CT it is a money making proposition, they pay alimony there so you just trade up for bigger pay outs. Sounds sick doesn’t it?
Off to work this morning. I had a great massage last night, I had made the appointment before the checking account mess. I decided to keep it, with all the stress lately I needed to pamper myself. I went for the 1 1/2 hour deal. I came home, cuddled up with Saba and slept soundly through the night.
I got the first check back from the bank yesterday, I had forgot to sign the signature line. Ugh, how could that have happened?
